In the event that you are thinking about having sex for the first time, you may feel a bit nervous and excited. You probably want to know a lot – and that’s quite normal. Here you will find some things to consider before, during and after sex.
Think about whether you are ready
Taking the decision about having sex for the first time is somehow cumbersome. Ensure that you are ready and think about the following:
- Is sex something you really want to do or you feels you are under pressure?
- What do you feel comfortable doing and what is ‘off limits’?
- Do you want to have a serious relationship with the person you’ve had sex with?
In case you are not sure if you are 100% ready, you can talk to someone you trust, such as a trusted friend, a family member, or a mental health expert. If you are a couple, it is very important to talk to your partner how you feel and make sure you both agree. Sexual consent must be explicit, meaning that both people say they really want to have sex.
Now, I’m ready. What next?
So you feel ready for sex, and you and your partner agree. Impressive. But here’s the thing: It’s important to do it responsibly. For example, if you do not practice safe sex, you can get sexually transmitted infection (STI). And if you’re thinking of sex deep in the vagina, you might also get pregnant. Fortunately, you can take some steps to reduce the risk of infection or pregnancy such as using a condom, using contraception and STIs.
Do you have any more questions about this? Below is some additional information that could assist you.
Will it hurt?
For some people, they can be uncomfortable having sex for the first time and it can hurt some a little bit. For others, however, it is comfortable, fun and enjoyable from the very beginning. It is a completely individual experience.
What to do: During sex, pain could be an indication that there is not enough lubrication to make things ok. If natural lubrication is not enough, it may be due to lack of sexual desire, nervous feeling or the fact that things are too fast. Medications, hormones, fatigue, and disease can also have an effect.
Try to propose a different position, asks your partner to slow down or use additional lubrication. Make sure that the lubricant is water-based if you are using a condom and always use an additional anal sex lubricant. If it hurts, stop. Talk to your partner about how to make sex more comfortable or talk to your doctor if you are worried about something else.
After your first sexual intercourse, you may feel very good, excited and close to your sex partner because of the hormones that pervade your body. It is also common that you can be worried, confused, teary or even a bit guilty. This may be due to the fact that it differs from your expectations or that you feel like a big problem or you are not sure how this will affect your relationship.
Sex is a very personal thing and can feel very intimate. It is therefore understandable to feel intense feelings later. If you are worried about your feelings, talk to your partner, a trusted friend, a family member or professional mental health.